Aw You Guyz Part II: The Future has an Ancient Heart

Today I saw a girl, maybe 7 or 8 years old, with braids in her hair and a poster board bigger than her younger brother.  I felt her excitement-the excitement of standing up in front of the class with my braids, the excitement of the summer and running around barefoot, even the excitement to go to school that day. It made me sad to be a grown up with all of our doleful grown up troubles and worries. In that moment I considered being a teacher, if only to stay young at heart. I have contemplated teaching many times, as I'm sure all English majors do, but I especially find teaching enchanting because I see first hand how much my sister loves her kids and how they love her in return and what a simple joy that brings her.

When I was young, very young, I wanted to be a marine biologist. I wanted to be a marine biologist for two primary reasons. The first was because my best friend Beth wanted to be an astronaut and had found an astronaut school in Florida. I was sure that was the perfect place to be a marine biologist, even if it was a little far from Disney World. We planned to live together and eat pop tarts for breakfast and salisbury steak for lunch and dinner every day, or whatever kids imagine adults to do. The second reason was that I was excellent at drawing dolphins and it's important to be able to doodle what you love all over your notebooks.

Since then I've wanted to be an actor, journalist, children's book writer and professional reader and if anyone knows if professional reader is an actual job, please let me know. My point is that I've never had any sort of path that bellows and squawks for me to take it. The tone of jealousy I set in my last post about Lauren's graduation runs much deeper than an iPad. But jealousy isn't quite the right word. Jealousy implies I want what she has and for her not to have it, but that is hardly the case.

Recently I read a graduation speech that defines what Lauren has and what you have and what I have, but what I have (and maybe you have) yet to find out.

"There’s a line by the Italian writer Carlo Levi that I think is apt here: 'The future has an ancient heart.' I love it because it expresses with such grace and economy what is certainly true—that who we become is born of who we most primitively are; that we both know and cannot possibly know what it is we’ve yet to make manifest in our lives."

When Lauren was young, very young, she set up a blackboard and desk in the corner of our room. She would mostly teach Teddy but I believe a few neighbors got roped into taking tests at that desk. There's been no ambiguity about Lauren growing up to teach young kids. Even on the longest days of student teaching and babysitting and school and work, she'd come home exhausted and a little pink in the cheeks, but also with a cache of adorable stories about her kids. I'm very happy for Lauren, the kids deserve her. I hope everyone finds what they knew they'd always do, if only so y'all wouldn't be so grumpy on Mondays.

Aw You Guyz

 

We are too cutsy, no?

Yes.

But um, congrats Lauren on graduating...again. 

I'm definitely not jealous of all the attention your getting, which I think is clear in the photos above. Or you know, sad that it's been 2 years since my own graduation.
Oh and the iPad, not jealous of that either. Is that thing like, cool or something?

I find it necessary to apologize for the gap in posting, I was busy growing my hair out and sweating my hypothetical balls off. Swamp city 2011.

Wednesdays, Lately

It always rains on Wednesdays. There was a considerable amount of lightning and it smelled like over-ripe strawberries in the streets. I asked them to put more whipped cream on my frappachino at the Starbucks near my class. I was in a terrible mood most of the day. It probably had to do with being behind on everything and my computer's start-up and scratch disks being full. That, and I'm technologically incompetent. Well that, and a few other things.

I realize I haven't posted anything in a while, blame it on my camera cord. How is someone to remember their toothbrush, iphone charger, book and camera cord every time they go somewhere? I've left The Sound and The Fury in three different locations in the last week, but he has been pretty good about finding his way back to me. If you're reading this Fury, come back to me-I'm waiting! I think the start-up disk in my brain is full.

The top photo is Brian riding my grandparent's bike into the Atlantic Ocean. The bottom photo was taken Tuesday night in my backyard while my mom was grilling burgers.

Georgie Cream Cone

This is the first thing I did with my Photoshop. THE FIRST THING.

Isn't there something great about a poorly photoshopped photo? I think so.

This is my cousin Georgie, photoshopped onto a ridiculously sprinkly ice cream cone that I ate with my cousins on the Virginia Beach strip. Admittedly, I put these two photos together because they happened to be snapped on the same warm summer day, so they were in the same folder on my computer. I would like to think, however, I was subconsciously creating something that demonstrated the saying "so cute I could eat you with a spoon", because Georgie is one of those cute cousins that you always want to hug (no offense to you other cousins).

Why does that saying exist? Perhaps it explains why I grit my teeth when I pet Koa to keep from, I don't know, biting her? The cuter the object of my affection, the harder I want to squeeze. Is this a survival of the cutest thing where you want to destroy (in my case, by hugging/asphyxiation) that which is cuter than yourself? I don't really know.

I'm not trying to tell you that I literally want to eat Georgie, but there is something that is just perfect about this photo, jagged edges, subliminal messages and all.

Sweet Teeth

You guysssss, did you ever watch Pippi Longstocking? Lauren and I loved that movie. This scene is like a vague dream from my childhood. When I see it, I can taste the smell of my pillowsack when it's filled with Halloween candy. Those kids eat so much candy they can hardly breath and they eat it until they are sick. That's how I always wanted to eat candy.

When you were younger, didn't you think alcohol was going to be delicious? In the movies people were always wanting to drink it so I assumed it tasted amazing and it always looked so sparkly and adult. I imagined tumblers full of whiskey tasting of liquified Swedish Fish.
Dommage.

Merry Christmas

A Christmas Eve present from Lauren.

A Conversation with Mr. Kelly

Monica: My Dad did all of his shopping online. Isn't he brilliant?
Sent at 2:13 PM on Monday
Monica: Hi Kerry. It's me, Mr. K. We r looking forward to having you to dinner tonight. See ya. What the French, toast!
me: oh my god.
my day is made.
Monica: R u going to wear the glasses????
me: yes i am.
if you would like.
Monica: Yea!
me: /wouldn't be embarassed??
Monica: No!
me: excellent. glasses are game.
Monica: Gots to go now and check out my stocks. Checking out.
me: amazing.

Thanksgiving with My Family

A perfectly dreary Thursday for Thanksgiving. I forced home-made green bean casserole and corn-syrupless pecan pie on my family this year. Brian protested because he loves canned green beans?
I also made and ruined the gravy, but got off the hook because my Dad turned our turkey into a zombie (hilarious, actually).

Because of the turkey fiasco, my family had another Thanksgiving Sunday where my Dad could give deep frying a turkey one more go (it was really good the second time). So that's 4 Thanksgivings in all for me. Awe-some. I need to start running again...

I put more photos from Thanksgiving and other stuff up on my flickr.

Texts from My Dad

"Cougar alert. They're everywhere..."

"Want anything special for din din?"

"Relacements on channel 221. Rock on"

"You duckin me wench?"

"Point Break on right now - rock on"

"I'm glad you understand I am a deeply cerebral man."

"Yo momma" to be followed the next day with "Have I told you about yo mamma?"

"Point Break - 8:00 pm - b there"

"Case of bud under the stretcher"

"Ha ha-you're working and I'm not!!!! - have a stupendous day"

Love that man.

Dear Dad,

Congratulations on becoming the newest Centreville EMT.

Thanks for telling me nearly every monday how the lungs work on the way to the metro.

You're welcome for being such a talented actress and playing the best unconscious girl with a thready pulse and a ticklish predilection (a very rare but serious condition).

So anyone who dislocates their shoulder can be assured they are in good hands-and don't forget to ask for the nitrous oxide!

mario's

probably one of the best subs around. ask my dad, he's been driving out to arlington since 1971 to eat here. oh the bribes this man has offered his children to pick up a 12 inch sausage and cheese for him. i don't think i've ever seen him more disappointed in me as when i once brought back a 6 inch.

i got a full size philly steak and cheese that i'm guessing will last me 2-3 days considering it's 12 inches of steak, cheese and every topping imaginable. i'm only sorry i didn't get to see fudgie the whale cake.


the floor is probably one of my favorite things about the place.


i'd HIGHLY recommend it (especially late night as i truly believe the quality of the food and people that go there improves). i'm sure megan and alli would back me up as i can remember a few night-before recaps that have ended in a confession of ordering an entire hawaiian pizza.
aint nothing to be ashamed of.

camera: sandbridge

it's 12:41 on a friday night. my shirt smells like the best chicken nuggets you've ever had and here's a little bit of the summer with my family.

black and white section:

end of black and white section

if you can't tell i was really lazy about taking pictures and all these were taken on the same night, probably within 20 minutes of each other<-is that one word or two, i googled it and even google didn't know? please reference "about me" if you think that's a stupid question.

iphone: sandbridge

every day my uncle john would get down to the beach really early and set up an umbrella and a chair (this uncle also happens to make the best bloody marys)
i love getting to the beach before 9am when it's calm and the only other people out are walking their dogs.
the sun isn't blazing and you actually feel like you can concentrate on your book.
this is also one of the best times to see dolphins; my family has an obsession with dolphins. we are on 24/7 dolphin alert and whenever they are seen on the horizon you can bet someone is rushing to get the kyack into the ocean. my dad likes to mock this and send out false dolphin calls.
this summer was a little different because i couldn't take the whole week of vacation. luckily i was there long enough for pumpkin muffins, the annual delinquent oyster and beer lunch, a tan (suburn), a ping-pong whipping, and a visit to my grandparents house in virginia beach.

i'm going to put up the few pictures i took on my camera soon and i sincerely hope that this is the last of my posts that reflects the summer. (fallllll. where are you? i'm tired of turning the AC up and shutting myself in my room so i can wear sweaters and listen to iron & wine!)

clambake.

last week my dad, kathryn, (maybe brian) and i stayed up late on a school night to watch clambake, an old pelvis movie. his movies are so cheesy but really entertaining. now that it's been well over 30 years and the retro look is in, everyone looks so stylish.

and here's a still from the movie of Shelley Fabares wearing what is undoubtedly the most fantastic swimsuit of all time.

at sandbridge we had our own clambake of sorts. tuesday was a dreary day so my dad, john and i left the beach early and went to bonny & sons to pick up clams, oysters and crabs. everything was caught in Back Bay and basically Caroline and I hoarded the crabs and ate as much as we could before everyone came back from the beach.

caroline and claude (i ate claude)

i realize there are no photos of clams or oysters for that matter. it is what it is, the crabs were amazing and i would put "chesapeake seasoning" on absolutely anything.

Today, you are a man

and it is for this reason i shall buy you a slurpee and grill you steaks.

brian, on this day of days when one dons a black robe and makes harry potter jokes. on this day there shall be the holy triumvirate of Coke, Pina Colada and Wild Cherry slurpee flavors at your local 7-11, and we shall know the gods approve.

a kelly family gathering

and me!

but i'm counting myself as one of them especially since nana said my glasses were darling. i'll say sorry but i won't take off my glasses.

we went down to charlottesville to see Scott graduate from UVA Law. we heard thunder and got sunburned. we ate inumerous amounts of cheeze-its and danced in puddles. we made fun of thomas jefferson and opened umbrellas everywhere.

man i miss the lake haus.

brown bag lunches

whenever i go home my mom packs me a lunch for the next day just as i remember it and just as i like it.

maybe i'm really stretching how long it is socially acceptable to feel like a little kid but it can feel so good when you need it. sometimes i still need my mom and nothing makes me happier than coming home for my dad's ribs or steak or any imaginable red meat you can stick on the grill.

i don't know if i ever went through that don't treat me like a little kid phase. i think it's maybe because i'm the oldest and i always wanted the seemingly easy treatment of the youngest. then again my mom did tell me i used to push her away when i semi-recently insinuated it was her lack of physical contact why i couldn't comfortably hug my friends. sorry mom, you can hug me whenever you want.

now excuse me while i eat my orange slices.

Lauren's Graduation

not so fast bubb.

i'm not sure why i decided to put only this last one in black and white but i'm quite sure now, after seeing this photo my dad took of me, lauren, brian and kathryn that my bangs were a mistake. i'm also surprised my dad was able to produce a relatively good picture with my camera on its manual setting. and we all thought he was a philistine.

we are all very proud of lauren and especially excited she graduated so we could all skip work and eat lunch at the cheesecake factory.

A May Birthday and Bits from Home

Lauren Elizabeth O'Connor turned 22 yesterday!

as the birthdays add up, people start to say "you're ___ years old now, i can't believe it!" but lauren's birthday this year is not particularly surprising because we've always felt so close in age, and i'm 23 (which i legitimately forgot the other day when someone asked me how old i was. me: "22. wait, am i 22? i might be 23, oh my gosh i'm 23!" i honestly still feel like i'm 17, and that might be because i always thought by the time i was in my 20's i'd be settled, know what i want to do in life and maybe have a dog. and if we are talking about how old lauren might feel, i'm going to say 12 considering her disney princess wrapping paper and multitude of presents all in the shade of pink.

yesterday i went home to Fairfax for the night to celebrate with her. i took Koa for a long walk, my mom made shrimp stir fry and then we had presents and birthday cake. (Lauren shared with Brian since we were in Jamaica over his birthday and he didn't get a cake)

then we may have watched glee with a bottle of wine. and then my dad may have asked to watch another episode on dvr since he secretly likes the show. then i may have fallen asleep on the couch.

and this is what i had to say goodbye to this morning.