what to do with your day off:

1. wake up pissed that you are taking a day off when there aren't any world cup games on.
2. walk the canal.

3. play with canal ducks.

4. watch it's always sunny in philadelphia.
5. play dress up with alli.

6. play with koa.
7. willingly lose feeling in your left foot.
8. jaleoooooooooo!
9. pizza and champagne.

deathly hallows.

the part I trailer was released today. no big deal or anything.

when i first saw the trailer i was sitting in my room that was slowly growing darker and a siren was going off outside. i felt like something very serious and maybe terrible was happening.

it's only that it makes me sick to think harry potter is ending.

Simple Pleasures.

and just for fun, we'll name the crappy pictures taken on my outdated iphone (just kidding, love you 3!) as if they were mumblecore films because this is REAL LIFE (i think).

Koa out the Window.

Hot Cheese5.

You wanna taste the soup?

You better get a bigger spoon

have fun.

Watson Trivia Challenge.
apparently my giant glasses give me no advantage here. because watson (a robot) won.

interestingly enough, i just took a picture of myself doing the robot in the doctor's waiting room with the gown on to send to lauren. you see, i had a dream the night before that i WAS a robot and lauren just loves to hear about my dreams.

please keep in mind that it was very early in the morning. great.

happy summer.

i found another use for jars other than keeping fireflys in them until they die.

i will now be keeping a terrarium in this jar until it dies, which it is doing right now, i think.

today is the longest day of the year, and i spent a good amount of it sitting on the couch half listening to the spain v. honduras game on telemundo and half looking at my terrarium, as if staring would will it to live.

live my succulent! live! gooooooooooooooooooooaaaaal!

then i decided to make vegetable soup. i even added red bell peppers in an effort to like them (fish, you're next).

Grow Up.

I'm trying!
Maybe this will help?

Or maybe this feel like I'm riding my big wheel around the neighborhood again. Really though, the picture should be more of something like me sitting nervously in front of a guy with a suit asking him for a loan or me sitting in a crowded DMV studying for a motorcycle liscense.

Mom doesn't think it's a good idea. Then again Mom was hatin yesterday. Hatin on the vespa, hatin on the World Cup (communist), hatin on my bloomers. But hey, good job on the banana cupcakes.

Today is our second kickball game. Will I actually get to first base? Will I contribute any amount of athleticism to my team? Will I be able to resist Mackey's wings?

(unlikely)

Please call Stella.

Dialects are fascinating. One of my family's favorite things to do is make fun of my dad for saying things like WaRshington and quote our neighbor across the street who is from Mississippi (and ridiculous).

George Mason hosts a Speech Accent Archive that allows you to listen to dialects within different languages, i linked the English section. Be warned, it's fairly addicting. My favorites are #6, #15, #42, #335 and #5 (this last one because i've never met anyone raised in fairfax, va with an accent like that, though i wish i had).

Each person reads the same 3 sentences: Please call Stella. Ask her to bring these things with her from the store: Six spoons of fresh snow peas, five thick slabs of blue cheese, and maybe a snack for her brother Bob. We also need a small plastic snake and a big toy frog for the kids. She can scoop these things into three red bags, and we will go meet her Wednesday at the train station.

I'm really hung up on the blue cheese. Who needs that many slabs blue cheese and what for?

one day

i want to live here. i want a dog named carrot (or fang). i'll ride my vespa to the dupont farmer's market every sunday and i'll decorate my house on halloween so all the kids are frightened.

i know there's a fireplace and a good staircase in there, and the tree will grow big and i'll never cut it down.

i hope the people in there don't mind me stopping and staring every time i pass by, but they should know that this place might be mine one day.

UM.

koa?

(single finger wave)

i know that i should be disturbed by this, but i WANT.

Today, you are a man

and it is for this reason i shall buy you a slurpee and grill you steaks.

brian, on this day of days when one dons a black robe and makes harry potter jokes. on this day there shall be the holy triumvirate of Coke, Pina Colada and Wild Cherry slurpee flavors at your local 7-11, and we shall know the gods approve.

DC United

half season tickets.
half-smokes on the grill.
half watching the game.
full on, sweaty, charcoal and bbq sauce drenched tailgating.

The Land of the Delta Blues

i've come to realize i'm someone who likes to count on things. i'm also someone who can become horribly dissapointed and overreact when the things i count on don't work out.

so, what you're saying is you're not going to make corn on the cob for dinner? really? well that's just great mom, great.
do i really care that much about corn? well, yes. maybe that was a bad example, let's try this:

weatherman/soothsayer: sunny, high of 89 degrees.
god: it's going to rain. you will be wearing your favorite sweater. you will have done your hair for the first time in weeks. mascara will run down your face. this is your life.
do i really care that much about having to walk back to my apartment without an umbrella or my green raincoat (has anyone seen this by the way? i think i lost it)? YES, YES I DO DAMNIT! things need to start being accountable or i'm gonna have to up my medication.

thank god i can always count of WTOP to play "walkin in memphis" every day.
i'll get my camera back this weekend so my posts can stop being so pointless.

i was hiding under your porch because i love you

this photo is not an accurate reflection of my normal commute.

i thought i was going to have a panic attack this morning on the metro.

i had to take a longer route walking to foggy bottom this morning just so i could stay in the shade, but even that didn't keep me from overheating. once i crammed myself onto a train among what i assume to be the tallest men in DC, i realized the air conditioning wasn't on.

my bangs were blanketing my forehead, i could feel my hair rising and frizzing, a briefcase dug into my ribcage and i felt thirsty, so thirtsy. luckily, with the help of a 25% banana republic coupon i dug out of my purse, i was able to fan myself and survive the ride.

i can't remember ever being as hot as i have the past week. yesterday i went to safeway and nearly everything i bought was refreshing. i trudged up wisconsin fully intending to buy bell's two hearted IPA and instead returned with a lime and a pack of coronas.

when i got home, i put my air conditioning on full blast and ate avocado toast in front of the vent.

also, can i please have a pet avocado with a gun?

sweetgreen lovin spoonfuls of hot town summer in the yellow city of light and yoga

i've really let my french slip. i didn't realize how much i miss it until i began reading Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell.
so, i'm going to write a bit of this post in en francais. how exciting! how entertaining! (how humbling).

i'd just like to say that yes, i was a French minor and yes, i have an atrocious accent and yes, i will be using an online translator for little words here and there. so here goes my beginner-level explanation of my day yesterday and a couple other things.

j'ai oublie mon camera en fairfax, donc je n'ai pas les photos pour cette post (le photos au-dessu sont de we heart it quand j'ai cherche le jaune). je voudrais ecrire de mon weekend eventualment parc-que c'etait beau mais chaud. tres chaud. plus chaud.

hier, je suis alle au yoga pour le premier fois puisque l'universite. le studio etait dans adams morgan. j'ai pris mon velo (adams morgan etait plus pres a georgetown que j'ai pense). malhueresment hier etait trivia night, mais le prochain mardi je pense que nous gangerons. apres yoga, nous avons marche a sweetgreen et a mange salade (mon prefere).

translation: no camera. lovely weekend. yoga. my bike. sweetgreen. yellow.

wait, i suppose i didn't say anything about yellow in that french bit.

ma couleur preferee est jaune! la.

20.5 million hearts break

LOST.

i missed you Vincent. i love you Jack.

this girl may have been found crying, alone, in her bed, in the dark during a thunderstorm last night after (finally) watching the series finale.

Thursday.

dear groupon,
remember that time you screwed me over on megabus tickets to NYC? well, i'm giving you another chance with these yoga classes. DON'T MESS IT UP.
love,
kerry

dear greek yogurt,
you are strange. you taste more like bitter cheese than yogurt. good thing the granola i put atop you is delicious.
love,
kerry

dear 3lb chicken sitting in my refrigerator,
prepare to be roasted.
love,
kerry

dear life,
can i please be a kid again? please?

a kelly family gathering

and me!

but i'm counting myself as one of them especially since nana said my glasses were darling. i'll say sorry but i won't take off my glasses.

we went down to charlottesville to see Scott graduate from UVA Law. we heard thunder and got sunburned. we ate inumerous amounts of cheeze-its and danced in puddles. we made fun of thomas jefferson and opened umbrellas everywhere.

man i miss the lake haus.

No hobo.

How did I let this phrase slip from my life?

I was reminded of this gem last night when Alli sent me a text message saying that she was enjoying a 40 with her dinner.

Here's how it works:

Last night I had a 40 with dinner. No hobo.

By the end of the day, my feet are dirty and black. No hobo.

Okay, yeah, the second one refers to me. Ever since the weather has been getting warmer (understatement) I've been wearing flip flops when I walk to and from work. DC is by no means a dirty city, but when I get home the bottoms of my feet are black. Sometimes this causes someone to comment and ask why I'm so dirty and if I ever bother showering and the answer is yes, yes I do. But there is nothing wrong with looking like a street hooligan and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to leave the apartment and enjoying a 40 on your back porch. No hobo.

Oh also I'm so excited to see Monica in a matter of hours because i haven't seen her in nearly half a year. I heard she got really fat!

Update:

I got a pet rat. No hobo.

I found a whole halibut in the trash, score! No hobo.

I am an avid collector of disposable dunkin doughnuts cups. No hobo.

If you try and sleep on my bench I will cut you with a butter knife. No hobo.

I pee in your drinking water. No hobo.